While a break-up leaves sore thoughts and a broken heart, there are ways to overcome it. We delve into the minds of men to understand how they'd like to see their 'ex'es in the long run.
Broken hearts are hard to mend. Yet, time heals all. You've had a bad relationship. Or for some reason things did not fall in place. You fell apart, moved on. Your ex, moved on. People move on... Or do they really?
Actor Salman Khan recently said in an interview, "I feel happy to see my ex having moved on. I feel happy about the fact that they are happy and settled. Maybe do better in terms of her career or having found another person who can do justice in the relationship to her. It actually irks to see the girl sulking for you when it is long over. Had it been worth it, it would have still gone on. Since it hasn't worked for both, why sit and crib about it. Life has many things to offer, just move on."
We've seen men who would drown themselves in alcohol or take to drugs on the pretext of overcoming a relationship gone awry. Some become workaholics. We've also heard of certain extreme cases of the men committing crimes in reminiscence. But then these are all the extreme cases about people with disturbed minds who are not mature enough to handle these situations suitably. Same goes for women. What experts suggest for women who've been left behind is to stop sulking and get on with life. Not only would you feel good, but people around you as well as the guy whom you've just parted with would feel fine.
So, in the long run, what would men want their exes to be like? It could have been any one's fault for causing the break-up; but dear women, as said earlier in this section, men like women who are Miss Independent! Supporting what Salman had to say, filmmaker Siddharth Mukherji says, "It all depends on the kind of break-up. Mostly, I think I would be indifferent towards her, no matter how she is. But if she needs some help at any time, I would see how I could help; although she wouldn't be a priority."
Marketing Professional Arjun Sengupta says, "When it isn't working anymore, it is best to talk it out and part ways amicably. No sense in hurting each other and then ending on a sour note. The emptiness dwells for a bit and then it all settles." While all of these things are valid points, you cannot forget there's a certain bit of a male ego that comes to play it's part. Men would like to see their exes be well on their own, but they wouldn't like if it happens immediately. They would definitely want the girl to sulk for a bit and shed some tears remembering the good old days. A word of caution here is that it isn't necessary that the man would come back to you looking at your tears, it's just a feel-good factor for them. Not that any self-respecting damsel would care to be in distress over spoilt milk! Again, men don't like doormats.
Relationship counsellor Dr. Rajan Bhonsle says, "Break ups should never be impulsive. One should always talk out the problems that have led to a situation where one or perhaps both are uncomfortable and they'd rather part ways. There can be two aspects of not talking it out completely. If he is already in a new relationship and happy or wishes to be in another relation then it's not emotionally troublesome for him to look back as he sees himself. But if he's not into a relationship and he sees that the girl has moved on, that can cause some depression. When you talk it out and part amicably, you come to an emotional closure, which would avoid the generation of any negative feelings towards each other as a sense of completeness comes in. For example, when you leave from school or college and move on to the next level, you don't feel bad about them getting over as the course is complete there. You might remember the past days with fond memories and be with it. Obsessive lovers cannot be ruled out; but if we talk of sensible people, then this is the ideal and a very mature way to handle things. Just be honest!"
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